Childhood Memories, Starships, & Finding Identity
You’d be amazed at how I could name all those stars. When I was 12 years old, one of my most prominent childhood memories involved showing you how to map the stars beyond our solar system. I could tell you about distant galaxies you’d never heard of. For example, you could ask me to chart for you the best route …
The Power of Sacred Space During Suffering
Just mere months after I first learned of my partner’s infidelity, it still felt like my flesh was being torn apart, inch by inch. The piercing pain was amplified with her utter disinterest in saving our marriage. Whether out of foolishness, desperation, a bold vision of all we could re-build together, or in honour of the person I truly loved, I still wished to offer my …
Good Grief? Here’s the Gift of Grief from My Weird Nightmare
Grief is weird. The nightmares are bizarre (I’ll get to that). But the phrase, “gift of grief” is sometimes, even weirder…In the aftermath of your deep loss, linking the ideas of “gift” with “grief” can feel as strange or jarring as your first quiet birthday with 1 or 2 close friends after their death, or that 50-person family Christmas party after finalizing the divorce and picking up that strangely and morbidly elegant divorce certificate.
Grit, Grace, and Uncertainty: My Brief Reflections
“I don’t know exactly what’s next, but I’m stepping forward with grit, anchored in grace” -Julie Graham I’m not much of a sailor (yet), and the most I can do on a boat is head over to the buffet line… But I definitely appreciate this image of us stepping forward into fearful uncertainties with grit, “anchored” in grace. For …
Among My Hungry Ghosts: Hearing Grief Speak In Writing
On those days when my grief is especially eager for my attention, I see it gnaw at me like a horde of hungry ghosts. Importantly, I’ve been expressing my grief and continuing my healing, by allowing my imagination to run wild through what I love: writing. As a general definition, hungry ghosts are condemned to a hellish existence where they’re …
Here’s How Hate Betrays Us After Surviving Infidelity
If you’ve ever loved deeply and been betrayed, you’re likely familiar with how hate can seduce us with a sense of justified contempt. But I’ve noticed how this sort of fierce resentment can soak into our bones and make things worse for ourselves. I confess: after being betrayed by the infidelity of someone I once loved deeply, my anger initially began to …
Here’s Why I Felt Too Scared to Buy Candy in 1986
When I was 6 or 7-years old, I panicked about the silliest things. My anxiety got pretty bad sometimes–Like that time I felt too scared to buy candy from the nice lady at the local convenience store. During the 1980’s and 1990’s, sorting out all of my different emotions was really tough as a kid. I cried easily (more than others my age, I think), …
The Importance of Self-Care: How To Better Handle Your Stress During Grief
During overwhelming times of grief, suffering or stress, the importance of self-care simply means this: self-compassion. Come learn how you can evolve or start a self-care practice that empowers you.
How To Deal With Life Changes When Your Dreams Die
Isn’t it crazy when life changes for you all of a sudden? I’m sure you don’t need a random guy on the internet to give you examples of how life really changes for you. But, since I’d like to say something thoughtful about cats, toilet-training and milk, I’m going to anyway. Here, I’ll reflect on one of the most important …
In Memory of the Wonderful Mom I Loved and Lost
As my mouth slowly curved upwards to kiss my own falling tears, I closed my eyes and looked for Mom in the place I knew she’d always be. It had been 4 years since Mom died from heart disease in 2005. One night, an unusual memory of Mom found me. And it absolutely transformed my life. Read on and discover what it was.