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First

first big date
I give you poem
you thrill me with real tigers

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3am

3am—
Your side of the bed
still sinks down by itself

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Mini-Commentary:

Learning how to celebrate is part of learning how to grieve well. 

Grieving in a healthy way is never straightforward.

It will inevitably involve some sort of mindset, act, ritual or quiet recognition of your need for “celebration”.

Even as I continue to “move forward” and fully believe that I’m in a completely different and refreshing new phase of life, I’d be betraying myself if I fail to honour the feelings that I’m still working through everyday. Being able to embrace the fullness of all that you are and feel is an important part of practicing self-compassion.

But it’s strange. For me, it feels very distinct from before.

The best word to describe the feeling is this: it’s almost haunting.

Funny enough, the haunting doesn’t always come to me with “bad” memories. In fact, it’s a strange sense of being haunted by flashes and triggers of memory of all the “good” and “wonderful” that I remember.

It can feel horribly painful sure. Yet, it can also bring you that smile towards the person you once loved–perhaps a smile you forgot you were able to give.

That smile is a precious gift for them even if they’ll never see it ever again.

And of course–as you’d imagine me to say–that smile is an extraordinary treasure for your healing as well.

Reflection:  How about you? What memories make you smile a bit today?

Why Haiku?: I’m hoping that these haiku capture a snapshot of one of the most difficult parts of my grieving process and healing: celebrating the wonderful memories while honouring the finality of the divorce.